Blog,  Health

Depression – When you are always tired – Part 2 [Mental Health]

Hi everyone! This is a Part 2 of my video on what to doif you feel like you have absolutely no energy In Part 1 I talked about 10 simple things That can be affecting your health right now So if you haven't watched that I'll leave a link down below And today I'd like to talk about how fatigue can be a symptom of mental issues or unresolved trauma I was a teenager when I started to experiencethis fatigue and lack of energy and just complete exhaustion it felt horrible And I didn't understand it at the time, but nowI know that this is a symptom of depression but at that point, I just felt tired and I didn't know why, but I had not energy to even try to fix it because I just wanted to sleep all the time and the way it manifested for mewas sleeping about 18 hours a day barely eating anything and thenbinging on food too much every little movement felt likeI'm expending all of my energy on it The only way I can describe it is as if every single cell of my body was weighted down by a huge dumbbell and even moving my finger like that would take all of my energy that I needed to survive and emotionally I was drained as well because everyone around me was like “You should be happy!” “You are so young and you have all of those opportunities around you” “You should be happy!' And I just wasn't I felt exhausted and tired and just so sad all of the time It was horrible, it was the worst time of my life But even after that episode ended I was still struggling with similar symptoms for the next 8 yearspretty much until this point And I used things like planning and organizing to keep myself in check because it gave me a little bit of energy, a little bit of control in my life But I was still tired all of the time And everything just seemed so hard And I didn't want to live like that, so I decided to take action The first thing that I did was trauma therapy and this created the biggest shiftin my energy level so far In trauma therapy, I finally had an opportunity to really work on one of the most fundamental events in my life that shaped my whole psyche And the way that trauma therapy workedwas not a continuous kind of therapy more so you're just coming in for this one session, you deal with this one problem and then you go back to seeingyour therapist every week and maintain and grow from that point In that singular session, my therapistwalked me through the traumatic event again I was basically reliving it But in a controlled environmentwhere I know that I am safe I am now older and I have the powerto survive and to protect myself And I had an opportunity to be more mindfulof my emotions in every part of that situation And then reliving it in a healthy way and emerging from it as a whole human basically I don't know how to better explain it.

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It was really ahrd And I cried a lot, and I was exhaustedafter we were finished But it was huge for me and I'm reallygrateful that I actually did it The 2nd thing that I've done is finallygetting into regular therapy I've been doing weekly sessionsfor about 5 months now And I see a huge difference And I love working with my therapist, it's something that takes time You won't see a change after just 1, or 2, or even 10 sessions It takes a lot of time and patience Because it's not about fixing yourself And that was always my mistake, I came to those problems with this mindset of fixing myself or tryingto work on the issue until it's gone And my therapist now is helping me realize thatall of those things, be it good or bad All of that is me, and all of that is part of my history And it's not that I will just work onthis one aspect and it will go away It will always be there.

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probably and what we are working on is more about helping me process emotions in a healthy way and living through experiences insteadof just pushing the emotions away or avoiding it completely, or just shutting off the emotional part of myself So, it's a slow process and I really love how my therapist is super gentle with me, so This is something that's been really helpful I know that now everyone has access to that, but if you do – please get help, it really works And 3rd, I'm trying antidepressants right now It's the first time that I decided to try medication I think I've been doing a good job managing my symptoms with no medication whatsoever before this, but after a few weeks of isolation in quarantine And I mean, if you've been following me for a while, you know that I'm in Canada my family is in Russia I live by myself, I have two cats but it doesn't really help And quarantine has been hard on me Two weeks in I just started to completely lose my mind So, me and my family doctor decided that it can be a good time to do a trial run of medication See if it works, if it doesn't At least after this, I will know what kind of effect it has on my brain And I have no intention of being on it forever I plan to stop taking it as soon as quarantine is lifted But for the time being, I hope it worksand I hope it helps And I will be documenting my experience and side effects because there are a couple I think that this is something that peopledon't talk about too much, but it is a tool that is available for us, and for some people it works and does worders and for some people it just doesn't and it's good to be educated on that Okay, moving away from me depressed or not, we all carry unresolved trauma It can be a severe event that you wentthrough or it can be just resentment, or grudge that you are holding onto These things are like weights thatwe carry around all of the time And it takes a lot of energy to keepcarrying them around and also to maintain them we keep feeding this energy into the broken parts of ourselves instead of healing properly and then releasing this energyto be available to us again So regardless of where you arein your mental health journey it is still a good idea to really work onletting go of those fears and resentments and anger.

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because all of that negativity is just destroying you from the inside And you do have the power to let go of that And it's not always easy, trust me, I know But this is something that's worth working on And you can try different things, be it therapy, be it radical forgiveness, be it spiritual practices Whatever works for you And if you are interested I can make a separate video on the kind of practices that worked for me because there are quite a few that I find really helpful Let me know in the comments I hope you like this video and that my experience was helpful in some way Please feel free to leave a comment on how you're feeling right now and if you've been struggling with depression yourself tell me about your experience and thank you for watching andI'll see you in the next video.

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